Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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