so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
