pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
