dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
