Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We are all done wearing pants today
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
