Porn is love you can see.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
