dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
