Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
