The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
