dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
