Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
