At least make sure they are 18
Why
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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