My hand turned me down
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
