return my video game
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
