A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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