i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
