peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
