After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Vodka?
Forever.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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