Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
