im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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