Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
