That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
