theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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