At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
