I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
