Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
