i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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