Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
