Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
