why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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