Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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