your thong is hanging out like whoa
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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