im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
