The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I would fuck him just for his dog
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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