At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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