Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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