My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I enjoy the company of your penis
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
