her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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