Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
