i need an iv and a liver transplant
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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