Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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