Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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