Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
