That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
