His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
