If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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