Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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