Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
soo... how was my night?
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