Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
