So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
