Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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