Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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