..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
